


Journal of a Silent Hero

by ChaosFox



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 11:16:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14591838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaosFox/pseuds/ChaosFox
Summary: I was so naïve.The experiment had gone wrong. I do not recall exactly what happened, but soon I was on the floor, feeling my body and heart fading in separate directions. It felt both peaceful but oh so terrifying all at the same time. What made it worse at the time was seeing my friends Even and Dilan fade away and having the young boy Ienzo, who laid down unconscious beside me, do the same. I recalled moving to protect the child but the few moments after that was nothing but a blurred fog before I opened my eyes to see the others.----A short story shown through the writings of Lexaeus' journal and what he saw as his time as a Nobody.





	Journal of a Silent Hero

**Author's Note:**

> So I had written this a while ago and have finally posted this. Lexaeus' has ended up being one of my favorite Organization members ever. Too bad he doesn't get much attention even in game. So I decided to write this small piece on him.

**Day 1:**

So it appears that we have become things known as Nobodies. It is an… odd thing to suddenly not feel any emotions. To have a void where your heart once was. The day of the experiment I had expected nothing to happen. Xehanort had insisted to have Dilan, or I should say Xaldin, and I to be there in case something went wrong. It was suspicious but I had merely brushed it off as him being cautious. Even had assured nothing would happen and that Ienzo should come to witness the newest scientific breakthrough. After a bit of debating, I had relented and agreed to the young boy to join in on the experiment.

I was so naïve.

The experiment had gone wrong. I do not recall exactly what happened, but soon I was on the floor, feeling my body and heart fading in separate directions. It felt both peaceful but oh so terrifying all at the same time. What made it worse at the time was seeing my friends Even and Dilan fade away and having the young boy Ienzo, who laid down unconscious beside me, do the same. I recalled moving to protect the child but the few moments after that was nothing but a blurred fog before I opened my eyes to see the others.

After that I had awakened in a strange world, The World That Never Was, and had taken a look around. Things I normally would have felt such as panic did not rise within me. It was a curious thing but not bring me much alarm. I will admit it allowed me to focus more on my current adjective at the time in finding the others. I looked to my side to see Ienzo by me, tightly clutching one of my finger with his small hand. Usually a scene like this would have warmed my heart would come, but no such heat arise and all I felt was a cold void. I picked up the small boy with one arm. He had stirred for a bit but soon relaxed into my grip and stayed asleep. I turned my head forward and made my down the city streets.

I had searched a bit for them, the glaring lights of the city seeming not to reach that far down into the streets. However, I still placed my free hand over Ienzo’s forehead so the neon lights glowing off the signs wouldn’t wake him up. I had to have been looking for what I could only assume to be an hour or two before I was approached by a hooded figure.

At first I had put myself into a fighting stance, ready to fight this strange figure. But then he had taken of his hood and revealed himself to be Xehanort. I had asked him what had happened to us and why something felt wrong with my body. He had explained everything to me. How we were now beings known as Nobodies and how we no longer had hearts. I knew I should have felt something, but I didn’t. I felt no sadness or panic over the words or even annoyance over words that sounded so ridiculous. The fact I felt nothing at the time, and still feel nothing after being brought to the castle. So his words must have been true. I had asked what could be done to reverse the effect of the experiment to revert ourselves back to our original forms. He answered but there was only one solution.

Summon Kingdom Hearts and then our hearts will return to us.

At first I thought it was preposterous, but after his explanation it did make sense. He continued on with how we would need to abandon their old names since we are truly not ourselves anymore. He had already found Braig, now Xigbar, Dilan, now Xaldin, and Even, now Vexen. He even stated that he would change his name entirely, since it was his main mistake to that of Xemnas. I had noticed that our names were only anagrams of our original names with X’s put in them and asked why he would do that. He shook his head at me and explained how it was to help remind them of their goal of to return to themselves while also reminding them that they were truly not themselves.

Xemnas then gave Ienzo and I’s new names. He had given me mine first, Lexeaus. It seemed fitting enough and I truly had no objections to it, though I really couldn’t feel a preference if he truly had one. Ienzo’s was changed or Zexion.

Xemnas said he already had a plan and that more will be discussed at the castle. Once we had made it the former apprentice showed me a room, stating the others were already in their own rooms and asleep. He also handed me a journal, stating that we should be writing down the events from now on to continue the research and to keep a constant record in case they needed to look back on past events.

Which leads us to the present of the current day. I had laid Ien- I mean Zexion down on my bed and taken a seat on a chair nearby to write in the journal. I have no idea of the current events going on but I need to find a solution to this problem. I doubt we can live without hearts forever without some sort of repercussions. Zexion is just a child and even Xemnas is just a teenager. He is a bright teenager who acts much older than he is, but still a teenager none the less. In order to help the both of them I may need to summon this Kingdom Hearts as Xemnas suggested. I suppose that is all of the day’s events. I will finish of the journal entry here and leave notes for future events as well.

**Day 4:**

It is odd to see the others seem so zombie like. Xemnas, Xigbar and I are completely fine even if I am a bit light headed at times. Xemnas said that this most likely happens to most Nobodies. He said a variety of different things such as willpower or the fact Xigbar was the last to be affected by the experiment as to why the three of us remained unaffected. He seemed cold and unaffected by the zombie like state of the other members but even I don’t actually feel anything of it, just the echoes of my emotions in my memories telling me this was an unsettling thing. Xemnas had already came up with a plan to help create Kingdom Hearts and wishes to begin on it right away. They needed to collect a vast amount of hearts and it will be a long process for them without a proper way to extract the hearts from the Heartless to send them to Kingdom Hearts. His behavior is a bit suspicious but for now I shall do what he says and sees where this goes. Only fools would jump the gun without any evidence to support their claims.

**Year 4 Day 45:**

I found Zexion today, curled up into the corner of his room. He had failed to show up for the meeting and, since I was put in charge of watching the child, was sent off to look for him. I had walked in there, asking him why he had not shown up for the meeting. He just looked up at me and for the first time I thought I saw some semblance of emotions in his eyes. I have since dismissed that statement since we are beings without hearts, we do not feel.

He had asked me so many questions in response. Why were they here? How could we function without hearts? Why couldn’t he feel anything? Why were the constantly killing Heartless when in reality it was a fruitless effort?

He looked at me as if I had the answers. I do not. I do not truly understand the situation we are in or how we could function without something that keeps all living beings going. But the young boy needed answers so I tried to give him some to the best of my ability.

Afterwards he requested to be alone. I nodded as I headed to the door and hesitated for a moment. For a moment, I thought I had felt something. A sort of feeling of protection towards the child who was thrown into a life he was never meant to have. But again, I must have been mistaken. I haven’t felt anything in years why would I suddenly have an emotion now?

No matter. I know what my goal is. To summon Kingdom Hearts and reclaim our hearts. Not just for my sake, but for the sake of Zexion.


End file.
